What happens when you are told by a recent acquaintance that someone who you have trusted implicitly for over 20 years has not been upfront with you and has made a lot of money off you or cheated you and you were not aware of it.
I have been watching this play out in real life for the last few weeks in two different situations and really fascinated with the way the mind and ego operate.
First, you don’t want to believe it because if what the acquaintance said is true, then you overwhelm yourself with a host of emotions and doubts.
- Shock and disbelief!!!
- Am I so stupid?
- How did I let this happen for so long?
- This can’t be true, this new person is just trying to win my trust by smearing my trusted friend.
- Anger and disillusionment.
- And many more …
Next, you set out on a mission to blame someone else. Here’s the catch – if you can identify a scapegoat, then you are off the hook and can divert your anger at this other person or group or entity.
Our coping skills have been developed to protect our Egos from deep emotional pain. The Ego cannot handle being crushed. Our coping skills are customized circuit breakers for each of our Egos.
The more aware we become of our Ego and that we are not our Egos, the less we tend to con ourselves and start seeing the world and life for what it is. While your Ego cannot handle the pain, YOU can. It was just another situation that life presented to raise your level of awareness.